There's a Bathroom on the Right...

Oh my gosh! Me too! I do sing out loud though! I love music, I have season tickets to the local theater. My birds sing, "There is nothing like a dame" and "Happy Talk", both from South Pacific.

But, when I sing, my young kids cry and one of my dogs howls! The kids really hate it when I sing in the car! Heck, I don't care! I sing and dance all the time! My 26 year old and his dad just look at each other and laugh and shake their heads when I start! Screw it! It's fun!

And I'm loud! I can really belt out a song with amazing projection! HA! Never hit the right note in my life! But damn, I'm loud! ROFLMAO!

There is nothing like being in the car and singing to the radio!!!!

Loud, Proud... and usually off note and key.

hotel CA, it took me a long time to fiure out "colitas" and then took me a while to look the word up, but the Mann song yeah that one I figured out fairly fast, too funny! Now to think what songs I misunderstood, or remember the way my lilttle one seem to change the lyrics on many songs, try tellingher she is wrong.

Yeah... I wondered if they were doing Spanglish.... what the hell is a colitas??? And why is it rising up in the air????

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQLWF_ItzYs

My sister used to sing..."Reverend Blue Jeans."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FI5xme5k5AQ

This one we use to sing..."I can't lie no more Augie Dogness"...........Then we'd look at each other and say, "That ain't right! That doesn't make sense!"

colitas, what is left after the cigarrette is finished, why couldn't they just says "butts" oh yeah would not sound the same.

direct translation is little tails.

dkaz - This one we use to sing..."I can't lie no more Augie Dogness. That was the one I was going to say also. I think, but maybe wrong, that's it supposed to be "No more of your darkness"

The words are.....

"I can't light no more of your darkness."

Magoo was singing Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffett and I heard him sing...

"Looking for my last jigger of salt"..................[laughing]

I looked at him and said, "What? What's a jigger of salt?"

That one's strangely appropriate, since a jigger is a bar measure.

since a jigger is a bar measure.

Yah, I know what a jigger is. I was a bartender at one time. I had to question him. Because why would you want a jigger of salt for a Margarita? And make it your last one at that.

Now...How about Louie Louie? Does anyone know the real words to that one? Remember, that was the dirtiest song around for its time. Everyone had their own version.

Supposedly, these are the true lyrics.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wx-8_GI4d2c

True enough, but I have seen parties that it would be relevant for. We played a variant of beer pong one evening using margarita's instead of beer, it was a lot of fun. Went through a lot of tequila, but it was a good time.

Oh hell, I always thought it was "searchin' for my lost shaker of salt" ....at least that's what some of the lyrics websites say it is.

sunnshine,

That's what the lyrics are.

lol I'm having a senior moment. disregard the above....

Can't! Had a good laugh over it.

Well then, as long as I gave someone a good laugh, I'm good to go! I was at work and sneeking peeks in here when I had the chance. It always gets me in trouble when I do that....

as long as I gave someone a good laugh, I'm good to go!

That's what I like to say. If I can make one person laugh, my job is done for the day.

I always figure If I can make somebody laugh, it's giving somebody else a break. :D

That's a good one Coop. Never heard that one before. You are so wise.

You are so wise

Wise-ass, maybe... :D

Better a wise ass than a dumb ass :)

The funny thing is, when I was in college, we used to sing it "There's a bathroom on the right" (or, depending on the circumstances, "There's a Batman on the right") just to make fun of it. So your friend isn't alone! And when I saw the title of this seed, I had to come read, because I knew exactly what you were talking about.

Actually, when I saw the title I thought this was a political rant.

What's a glove got to do, got to do with it?

@ dkaz & cooper: Such wise people I am among. You know - wise, wise-ass - it's all the same, right? Anyway, I am not such a happy camper myself the last few days so I may as well at least make someone else happy. I just got word of yet another surgery I need (long story, long list of procedures last year) and this kind of stuff keeps my mind off the bad stuff, so keep it coming and I'll keep reading!

sunnshine,

Good luck at fixing what ever is broke. Just always remember one very important thing in life.

dkaz is wise........Cooper is the wise ass.

lol making notes right now....

and ty for the luck!

I just thought of another song my brother's use to use their own words to. Remember "Barbara Ann" by the Beach Boys?

"Went to a dance, lookin' for romance
Saw Barbara Ann, so i thought i'd take a chance..."

They sang...

"Went to a dance, bulgeing in my pants

Saw Barbara's ass, so I thought I'd take a chance..."

Here's another..............[geez! you guys are making them pop in my head]

Remember "What A Feeling" by Irene Cara from Flashdance?

What a feeling
Bein's believin'
I can have it all
Now I'm dancing for my life
Take your passion
And make it happen
Pictures come alive
You can dance right through your life

We sang...

What a feelin'

Bein's believing

I can have it all

Now I'm dancing for my life

Take your pants down

And make it happen

Pictures come alive

And you can dance right through your life.

Seems like I grew up in a different part of the world that you folks. We sang, in part

"I keep a close watch on this heart of mine.
I keep my eyes wide open all the time.
I keep my pants up with a piece of twine.
Because you're mine - please pull the twine."

dkaz and rls8r, LOL! Sometimes we hear just want we want to hear, I think ;)

rls8r,

A Johnny Cash fan, huh? Getting to know you..................[laughing and reaching for the twine.]

dkaz is wise........Cooper is the wise ass

Don't ever forget that one or it will come back and bite you in the asking questions.

so keep it coming and I'll keep reading!

Lol! Don't think we could stop if we wanted to. it just cums natural :)

"Johnny's daddy, was taking him fishing,

when he was eight years old.

A little squirrel came through the front gate

holding it's glistening pole.

Daddy Please...

Don't date the squirrel."

just one of many. Insert squirrel for girl in just about any song and it immediately becomes funnier X10 :P

That's my house and that's my yard.

That's my mutt in my back yard.

Planted some dope out by the fence,

not long after we moved in.

There's the window to the room

where she used to give me head.

There's my kids and that's my life...

Who's that man, f@#$ing my wife?

Hello darlin'

Good to see you.

It's been a long time.

You're just as ugly

As you used to be

What's that? How am I doin'?

Well i stay drunk on wine......

And of course, the classic ( I promise I'll stop after this one)...

Don't smell my fart.

My stanky stanky fart.

I just don't think you'll understand.

And if you smell my fart

my stanky stanky fart.

You might throw up on this man.

OOOOO-OOOOO!!!

And I have so many more, but alas, so little time :P

The Billy Idol song "Eyes without a Face" has a girl singing the line "Les yeux sans visage."

Not speaking French nor expecting it in the song, I thought it said "Aren't you sorry now?"

My girlfriend thought it said "Let you slurp me now."

I don't really know how she got 'slurp' out of that but ya know, it was hilarious.

rls8r,

"I keep a close watch on this heart of mine.
I keep my eyes wide open all the time.
I keep my pants up with a piece of twine.
Because you're mine - please pull the twine."

I find it very, very easy to know you
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit to wanting to see more
Because you're mine, I'll pull the cord.

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
The ruler says, you are a "nine"

You've got a way to keep me on my side
You've got enough, I know that I can hide
For you I know I'd make it slip and slide
Because you're mine, I'd wanna ride

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the twine to tie your wrists up high
Because that's when, I'll ride that "nine".

Oh PLEASE tell me that was original so you will achieve goddess status in mine eyes!!!!!

Vdub -

I believe it was. You know - perhaps dkaz could be the Weird Al Yankovic for, um, a different audience.

Vic,

Oh PLEASE tell me that was original

That's my mind on drugs.............[laughing]

perhaps dkaz could be the Weird Al Yankovic

Alexandria Yankovic? Not bad!...Sounds pretty

a different audience

rls8r.....Can I expect you to be in the front row?

Yep - look for Bob Uecker and me in the front rowwww.

rls8r,

Bob Uecker.........in the front rowwww

I heard him when I read that...............[laughing]

neenie,

...and the Grammy goes to the new Parody Princess...

Thank you! Thank you! I'd like to thank all of you for the beautiful roses.

My dear ladies,

Women of such a variety of talents! Won't you please reconsider my offer?

Yours Truly,

Sleezeball McNuggets

Victoria,

Okay.

What was the offer again?

Neenie - please forgive me, but this invite is for you and dkaz. I got a request for a new article, which I wrote, and there are references in it and stuff and I think you'd dig it. If you want to delete this because I didn't ask first, please go ahead. This is not kosher and I know it.

XO, VW

You found it! And I found yours! And Steph's! Man, if you don't check that tracker religiously, next thing you know, 1665 of your friends have posted, seeded or commented! I must stay on top of this ...

My tracker finally picked up comments left for me from last Tuesday. Hope these people don't think I snubbed them.

dkaz - Well after about 4200 articles to read through, I just delete all till I see my friends...then I start one by one to go and read. Don't always comment, but I read. You were busy e-mailing someone in France, admit it. D....prolly a new source for the upgrades showerhead.

H - I wish we could drag over a big batch of them, then delete, so we don't have to do it one by one - that's what kills me!!!!

D - "My tracker finally picked up comments left for me from last Tuesday. Hope these people don't think I snubbed them." That's exactly how I felt with "Crappy Stories" and no comments since 5/19. Yikes!!

Vic,

and no comments since 5/19.

They'll show up sometime in July. Hang in there.

Hangin' ... Thanks!

Are French showerheads better??? =}

I like my Gerard. He's French.

Beats the one from China..........No Kan Doo.

Good Lord, Girl? What' your IQ? 270 or something???

Yea, VW - I was wondering the same thing....could it be the water in France or the sushi?.....lol

Whatever - please send both my way!!!

I like my Gerard. He's French.

Beats the one from China..........No Kan Doo.

You are too funny!

BTW... what is a Kolher.... German??? or American???

Kohler is from Kohler, Wisconsin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kohler,_Wisconsin

Vic,

Good Lord, Girl? What' your IQ? 270 or something???

Ehhhh.....Give or take a point.

Kohler is French for "call her" ...... Gerard to Dkaz......"D, cum to pappa"...lmao

ROTFLMAO!

Mamma ready and waiting!!!! Bring on the bubbles!!!!

And the pulsating action.

Ooooohhhhhhh yeaaaaaahhhhh!

It would be great if we could get the water to pulse to musical beats.

Sooo..Dragon. Will you pick for your musical beat from the Wipe Out record?

A little too fast...

I need a Luther .... sloooow jam

Got the vapors - need a nap -

Got the vapors - need a nap

ROFLMAO!!!! ???? Now what do those two things honestly have in common?? LoL I have never heard of the vapors causing sleepines LMAO again!!

Vapors... Now that's one I haven't heard in awhile. Still LMAO!!

Vapors... Now that's one I haven't heard in awhile

Coop, unless you're REALLY old, you should have never heard that term.

Well THANK you!!! I'll make every effort to bend my geriatric vapors to some other end. Pardon me while I hit Word for synonyms the younger set can wrap their heads around ..

Here's a good one. There is an ancient historian in Charleston who insists on referring to the Civil War as "Our recent unpleasantness ..." That friggin kills me!!

VDub

Well Scarlett, I have a family acquaintance of some standing and good reputation, with a fainting couch and smelling salts should you take another spell of the vapors. I should be happy to make your introduction if you wish, since ladies of your standing of course, never arrive unannounced.

:)

Thanks, Dubbya. I'm off to tat something now.

Tit for tat.

Tit for tat.

:) You just couldn't stop yourself. Could Ya? Lol

Nope! I saw it, I read it, I wrote it. [laughing]

Well, I could tat something nice for your tit ...

What about the other one? It'll get jealous. Not to mention cold.

LMAO... It is nice to find a corner to flirt awhile....huh ladies and gent?

=}

It is Dragon. It takes the edge off of reality and puts a smile on my face.

Btw, thanks neenie.

Reality is overrated. So is sanity. :)

Amen!!!!

I aaaacccchhhh for a bath!!!!

I will have to make due with the showerhead. =}

BTW.... does neenie even know how long this has been going for?

I don't know. I scrolled up a ways and I think she's on vacation.

Hey! You ladies want to have some fun with a guy who thinks he knows women?

http://larshindsley.newsvine.com/_news/2009/06/04/2896206-the-grief-of-divorced-women

Now, go easy on him. He knows not what he's done. [laughing] I think he's young.

dkaz... what a tool he was.

A "Tool"!!!..................LOL!!!!!!!!

That's putting it mildly.

Get this. Pull up my page and look at the comment he left. So, I thought "Okay. He's extending the Olive Branch." And I accepted it. I went to his page and left him a comment. And a nice one......and the damn thing is still pending his approval.

It's pending HIS approval.

I love it!! I think he's afraid of us. He hasn't been back to his article yet. Unless, he's an "out of the closet" Troll. Just likes to stir sh!t and leave.

Ouchies!! Migraines suck, especially when you build up a tolerance to your meds :(

Right now I have an OTC medicine that is working well. Takes longer, but I also use my homeopathic pain techniques too!

neenie,

If you suffer from migraines, you may not want to check out "the tool". He could cause the migraine to return.

dkaz.... far be it for me to defend the guy... but I am ashamed to tell you how long it took for me to find the "comment" part of my domain. I have to approve them to appear. Bob Greene seemed to disappear before I saw his comment. I know he was a bit older... So I wonder you know.

As for the tool, I have cooled down... some of the other guys are the same on there... they seem to want to be determined to classify women. I would love Loretta K. to get a load of that vine.... tooo funny.

Dragon,

I was surprised when I saw the comment. It was made right after I made the 1st comment on his article. Like I said, he was willing to hand me the peace pipe and I smoked it. But now, I don't know about him.

Neenie,

I did the same thing. I read some of his articles and he's a character.

Ok... I did go back to his article today and HE CALLED ME OUT. I nearly fell off the chair laughing.

I have not gone to his domain yet... pray for me, i am now curious and must see.

fingers crossed =}

Dragon........er.....I mean, "Ding Dong",

... I did go back to his article today and HE CALLED ME OUT

I saw that and cracked up.....[laughing]....I'm still laughing just thinking about it.

I started typing a comment about that but backed it out. Only because I really didn't want to get into anymore of his nonsense. Besides, I knew when you saw it you'd take care of business. Which you did. The laughter in your first sentence....I swear I could hear you through my speakers.

I feel for the kid. He's got a lot of maturing to do and I don't think until he grows up and experiences life more, he's going to have a happy one. I really feel bad for his kids if he truly does have custody. He's gonna mess them up if he shares his views about women. And what's he gonna teach them if they are females. EGADS!

I'll go back to his page if it pops up on my tracker but I'm only reading, not commenting. He's too spacey for me. He's not consistent and he's very contradictory. I still wish he would either accept or reject my comment on his page. I hate seeing my "eye" fogged up.

You know, if you look at his picture, don't you want to grab a Kleenex and wipe his sniveling, cry-baby nose?

Ding Dong???? (The wandering fool I am accepts as a term of enderment... it actually fits)

Oh I went, I saw, I laughed.... the Barbie with the tatooed ass is disturbing. YIKES. I love comics... so I left him a comment sort-o-wake up call meets peace offering.

His picture looks like he works out and likes himself a lot... although I would have mistaken him for GAY... or maybe not so mistaken.

I saw your comment on his "ahem" article was not long before mine....

I have been wandering today. I found a couple things to brighten my spirit.... (see Deka Dee Me and Ann in Texas).

Have a wonderful Saturday.

I thought he looked like a cross between John McEnroe and Arte Johnson from Laugh In.

LMAO... nice!

There is something weird going on with that...Tyler has been on that. There may be a whole family using the same account or he is a victim of identity theft.

neenie,

With that combover?

Just wanted to let you know I got a comment deleted because I referred to his combover. I guess in the rules and regulations you can't talk about combovers.

But you can talk about boobies................[laughing]

Let's talk about his boobies.

No way!

Way!

I myself have posted a hell of a lot worse. I typed "dick" and no one squawked. But I guess you can't refer to anyones looks.

Well.....Ain't he special!

Really? I'll go check it out. Thanks neenie.

Yeah... A. Mac was trying to be fair... and given the nature of that site... we were rippin the hell out of him. To be honest, I was surprised Tyler or someone else did not yank the entire article. It was a complete roast.

It did help route out an interesting situation.

Oh yeah, and Dkaz... I believe you made a new, handsome, friend with a well hung robot.

Dragon,

Oh yeah, and Dkaz... I believe you made a new, handsome, friend with a well hung robot.

Yah? Who's that? I like the words "new", "handsome", "friend" and my personal favorite......."well hung".

Azzi... something or other (sorry I am a little dingy at the moment...Mondays are busy at work)

Azziz? Oh I know. Isn't he cute? Do you think that's really him or did he buy a new wallet and used the picture that came in it?

I don't know... he did not borrow his sense of humor.... that is a bonus!!! Trying to figure out how he did the robot thing.... Perhaps he copy/pasted.

Dragon,

I found this site.......http://www.chris.com/ASCII/

But I tried to copy and paste one of the drawings here and......either you can't or there's a trick to it that I don't know about. Perhaps if we make Azziz an offer he can't refuse, he'll tell us how he did it.

I tried to copy paste, but no luck....

I don't know D... think if we double team him ... it may be more woman than he can handle?

Hi, Kiddies

When all else fails, screen snap!!

VDub

Okay Vic,

Since Dragon didn't catch this, I will. What's a screen snap?

And by the way Dragon, have you looked at Azziz's picture? I don't think he'll have a problem handling both of us.

and what about me.....can he handle three...lol (Dragon, I keep missing you) you crack me up woman...gosh I wish you were on when I was here.! We'll catch up (smiles)

Azziz!!....Can ya' handle a 3-Way? I'm not talking about a light bulb neither.

Should we save the "screen snap" tutorial for later, perhaps? After y'all get a room??

Hek... I think we have a 2 hour time zone issue. (from what I see on your post you are on around midnight).... I be sleeping at that time.... got to get up at 4:30 am YUCK!!!

3 or 4 way becomes an orgy... Sounds like fun.... LMAO! That poor guy is going to need some orange juice. We will have to pull straws to see who goes first.

Vdub.... if that is New Orleans.... I am already excited!!! I still want to talk with my cousin... been busy last couple of days.. I had a 6pm doctors apt yesterday.

We will have to pull straws to see who goes first

No we won't . I'm first. I found him.

Vic, do the snap screen. Slide it under the hotel room door. We'll check it out inbetween "moments".

Okay - screen snap. This works differently on different computers. On my Mac, it's shift, alt option, 4. A small target will appear and enable you to "select" a portion or all of what's on your screen, then let go and it literally has taken a digital snapshot of what's on your screen. I use it a LOT, even though I know some sneaky download workarounds.

Any one else want to weigh in with how you do this on a PC?

Toodles!

VDub

No we won't . I'm first. I found him.

Ok... you warm him up

1. Warm u[
2. Get ready
3. Get ready
4. DO it....lol.........I want to be # 4...lol
5. Clean up (position available)...lmao.

Okay! Back on topic for a minute.

I heard Magoo singing again today.

Remember this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jltdIXuml44

He was singing

"Sweet jeans are made of these...."

LOL!!!!!

Dkaz.... I like the Maryln Manson version... I giggle like made when I see the video.

Hek....I am not picky...and I am patient.... He will need refreshments.

DragonWoman...lmao, he will need refreshment....hows about popcorn and a snickers bar....love that combo!

Popcorn gets stuck in the back of my throat.... LOL =}

I love snickers, but too much sugar....

The little boy will need some juice... I be A LOT of woman

lmao - oh, and the popcorn is for me.....lol